My two cents on tipping
Here at It’s the Thought that Counts, we try to apply critical thinking to everything we can get our hands on. Often, that ends up being issues related to politics and law, or to science and education. Today, however, I’m not going to talk about anything that’s been formally codified and voted on, or anything that’s been tested and peer-reviewed. I want to discuss a custom that doesn’t make sense as it’s commonly exercised in the US today: tipping.
Let me first say that it’s not my intention to sound arrogant. I have a great deal of respect for people working in service industries. I also have friends and family members who work or have worked as waitresses, taxi drivers, bartenders, and so on; I’m not removed from or ignorant of the situation. Nevertheless, I expect some people will hear me as arrogant anyway, because I think the presumption that patrons must provide a tip is nonsensical and unfair.
When you go to a restaurant in the US, you’re expected to tip your server 15-20%. My understanding is that the range of allowed tips reflects the range of possible service quality. If it was bad, you tip 15%. If it was great, you give the full 20% or even a bit more if you were particularly thrilled. So here’s what I’ve never understood: if I get terrible service, why am I giving anyone extra money? Also, isn’t a gratuity supposed to be voluntary? How can it be if there’s a minimum expected amount? It seems to me that this is the restaurant’s way of achieving two things: having artificially low prices in their menu, and paying their wait staff less than they deserve (often less than minimum wage). Both of those goals are stupid. A message to restaurant owners: don’t tell me that dish is $11.95 if you really expect me to pay at least $13.75 for it, and don’t expect me to pick up the slack for your mistreatment of your employees. My sympathy shouldn’t be a cover for avoiding sales, payroll, and income taxes.
Then there are the situations where the tipping etiquette is completely vague, with no commonly accepted standard — cab rides or food delivery, for example. Most often I end up rounding up the price to some dollar amount that’s at least two over the actual charge, but I never know if I’m being stingy or overly generous. All my complaints above apply in these cases too, but there’s the added downside of ambiguity-induced anxiety. If you’re going to have unreasonable and unfair expectations about what I pay you, at least make those expectations explicit.
Here’s how I think it ought to work. If you expect people to pay you a certain amount for your services, charge that amount officially, on your menu or your signs, certainly on your bill. There are plenty of countries where tipping isn’t practiced or is actually illegal, so don’t think you have some inherent entitlement to our spontaneous generosity. If your customers think you did your job particularly well, I see no problem with them giving you some extra money with their payment. But don’t act on the nonsensical assumption that we’re supposed to feel some predetermined amount of extra appreciation for your work.
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7 Responses to “My two cents on tipping”
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I try to take into account what the problem is. If the food is bad I tell the server. If they try to fix the situation, i’m not going to punish them for the restaurant having a lousy chef in the kitchen. Likewise, if the food is slow a good server will still keep our drinks filled, offer an appetizer, give us updates, whatever. Basically, let us know they are on the ball and the kitchen is slow that night. Again, i’m not going to punish them for the problem.
Now the other night we were waiting and waiting for our food at a local restaurant but rather than seeing our waiter, he disappeared for awhile. I happened to catch a look at him coming out of the kitchen finally and he was chewing some food. He was probably back there eating dinner, which is a perk in restaurants, but he dropped the ball while doing it. We gave him 10%.
My grandfather gave 1 penny when the service was really bad because he said if he gave less than 15% they would think he was just cheap and if he left nothing they would think he forgot. The penny was his way of saying, “Your service sucked’. I only saw him do it a couple of times, but it was effective.
I go to my local Starbucks, where I must stand in line to give my order and pay for it. Then, I must stand around and wait for it. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll find a table to sit down and drink it at. But they have two conspicuous containers marked “Tips” on each side of the register.
They have to be kidding. Now if they sat me down somewhere and took and served my order, then I surely would be glad to tip them. But nowadays it seems that people expect tips for nothing!
Mike: Ooh, the 1 penny thing is really clever. Clearly only for very extreme circumstances, but clever!
W.M. Irwin: Yeah, tip jars are often pretty ridiculous like that. Worth a try, I suppose, but comes off pretty desperate.
Reminds me, I’ve been to several places where I would normally never think of tipping anyone (fast food places and a bowling alley immediately come to mind, but I’m sure there are others) but where they print out receipts for you that have a blank line labeled “TIP.” It must be something in the equipment or the software putting that in by default, but I still wonder if I’m missing something when I draw a line across that blank and rewrite the subtotal as total.
As a resident of a country where tipping is not part of the culture (NZ), I find it quite intimidating when travelling and experience much of the anxiety that you describe, have I tipped too much ripping myself off or too little offending the person. I must say it is reasuring to see these thoughts reflected in you, and I agree with your sentiments 100%.
I’m usually glad to get home where no-one expects a tip. Although the mentality is starting to creep in at the edges which worries me.
I share your confusion regarding delivery, etc. And it’s annoying.
As far as ponying up 15% for lousy service – forget it. It’s all right to expect 15-20% for good to outstanding service (considering what these poor folks get paid), but bugger gratuities if someone can’t do their job. That’s really the only thing I like about tipping – the ability to refrain as an expression of displeasure.
It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. My wife tells me I’m mean. My counter-arguement is ‘Put it in the price, and pay the staff.’
Here in the UK I tip in restaurents depending purely on service. It isnt going to be masses, or an exact percentage (I tend to round the bill up, so if it is £37.90, I leave £40). If I take my wife out to a dinner, and spend say £100 (which I have done a couple of times) that is 2 days pay for me. Why would I give you £15-£20, probably 2 hours waiters wages for the 15 minutes you spent attending me?
It’s not just me- even some BBC reporters question it
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/7927983.stm
Tipping places a terrible burden of records-keeping and taxation on the waitperson, while relieving the owner of many obligations. I’d love to see abolished and proper wages and benefits standardized.
But I tip anyway. When I am placed in charge of every aspect of our culture, I’ll fix the problem but until then both the waitperson and I are trapped in the system that exists.