Am I a jerk?
I’m perplexed by the recent campaign against the “r-word” (retard, retarded, etc.). In the interest of not being a total jerk I’m going to include their promotional banner here, but then I’m going to do a bit of the critical thinking thing and ask whether their campaign actually makes sense. To cut to the chase: I agree with the conclusion, but not the means of getting there. Hopefully that doesn’t make me a bad person.
I want to make it clear that I don’t think calling anyone names is acceptable. I would never say, “You’re such a retard” to a person, or even say “He’s such a retard” behind someone’s back, whether or not that person was actually mentally retarded. I admit that I have occasionally used the adjective “retarded” to refer to plans or situations that I think result from people not understanding what’s going on or not being able to think through the complexities of an issue. When the campaign refers to “everyday” use of the word, I assume they mean this latter case. I do think I should stop doing it, but not for the reason the campaign suggests. (I’ll get to my reason later.)
The first thing I think the Spread the Word campaign is forgetting is that no matter what word is used to describe people with severe and broad learning disabilities, that word is going to be used as an insult that means someone is stupid. “Mental retardation” was at one point the kinder, euphemistic term replacing previous terms like “idiot,” “imbecile,” and “moron.” Seriously, those were the scientific terms for different ranges of IQ scores. This commenter on a disability advocacy blog pointed out that “special needs” is already resulting in the playground insult, “You’re special.” You can’t stop this phenomenon by eliminating one word at a time.
People described as “mentally retarded” are described that way because they learn slower and comprehend less than other people. Guess what? That means they are less intelligent. That doesn’t mean they’re not good people or that they’re not a valued part of society. It also doesn’t mean that they’re not skilled at anything. But you can’t say that random things count as intelligence (like “bodily-kinesthetic intelligence” and “naturalist intelligence”) and then declare everybody to be equally intelligent.
The thing is, using the “r-word” for the most part evokes qualities that are actually related to the term “mental retardation.” Because of this, I don’t think of it as such a grave insult the way that the Spread the Word campaign is characterizing it. The “r-word” isn’t being used as a synonym for “bad” or “uncool” just arbitrarily, to be mean. It’s not like seeing a boy try out for the school musical and saying, “That’s so gay!” It’s more like seeing two men kissing and saying that. Like… yeah. It sort of is.
The problem is — and this is the problem I recognize — it isn’t really. It’s actually more like poking your slightly pudgy stomach while you look in the mirror and saying, “I’m obese.” Or, in a more real-life example, leaving that difficult exam and exclaiming, “I was raped!” Using the word “retarded” to describe someone who merely disagrees with your understanding or to describe a situation which was simply sub-optimally planned trivializes the reality of mental retardation. It’s a complicated condition, a real challenge for people who have it. It’s disrespectful to those people to describe your everyday inconveniences using this serious medical term. Imagine if your friend dropped something accidentally and you said, “Jeez, it’s like you have cerebral palsy or something.” Or if he stumbled over his words while thinking of what to say next, and you said, “What is it, do you have Parkinson’s?” People do commonly exaggerate in everyday speech (It’s like a million degrees outside today! or, It took a thousand years to download that song!) but I can certainly see the argument that exaggeration downplays the significance of these serious conditions.
The Spread the Word campaign is based around the idea that the “r-word” insults people by implying that they are less capable, while in reality they have so many abilities. (Just look at the Special Olympics!) But the fact is that mentally retarded people are less capable in this specific set of situations involving comprehension and learning. That’s why we call it a disability. It seems to me that it would be more appropriate and effective to acknowledge this, and combat everyday use of the “r-word” on the grounds that it is a trivialization of a serious challenge that many good, respectable people have to face.
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8 Responses to “Am I a jerk?”
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[...] Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, and I thought this paragraph was worth quoting after yesterday’s post. If you don’t know the story, it’s about a mentally retarded man who receives [...]
You cannot deny accuracy. Whenever a word is removed from our vocabulary because it CAN be used in a hurtful way, then we have diminished what intrinsically makes us human.
We need to have the tools to express reality in tokens that allow accurate discourse. When tokens are removed for political correctness our reality is less well described, understood and lived.
You nailed the big problem with PCness in your third paragraph – “retarded” replaced some other term, is replaced by “special needs” or “differently-abled”. So, what’s it going to be when those terms become insults? We’ll end up with a very long list of unacceptable terms and no meaningful way to describe “disabled”.
This solution does not address the actual problem. It is a little like fixing a flat tire by painting the car. We should be searching for ways to change attitudes, not language.
[...] at It’s the Thought that Counts, I wrote about the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign (against the word “retarded”) and why it’s misguided. Respect for others is [...]
I’ll admit I’ve used the term to deride people, but I use a lot of terms to mock friends; rarely anyone outside of my abrasive circle of jerks.
… Of course, I’ve actually used the cerebral palsy line when a friend dropped a pencil. She actually had cerebral palsy, mind you, so she sent me after it.
I totally deserved it when she asked me, when I couldn’t find it, “What are you, blind?”
Why yes. For the most part, I am. That’s why it’s funny.
Though, I’d have to wonder how many people would be totally screwed if I started getting offended at the mention of the word ‘blind’, as it trivialized the difficulties I had as a kid. That would be a fun little experiment.
Many years ago, there was a baseball player named Boog Powell. When he was playing on his home field, the fans would often shout “Boog” when he came up to bat. Sports reporters would occasionally ask him how he knew when they were yelling “boo”. “I can always tell”, he replied.
That’s the problem with getting hung up on words like “retard” or “black” or whatever. I can usually tell when I’m being insulted. So can most people. It’s not the words that clue you in, it’s the tone of voice, the context, or body language. That’s one of the reasons it’s so easy to offend people in this medium.
Good thoughts, Z. Thanks for sharing them.
Most excellent post, you heartless jerk.
At the heart of anti-word campaigns (whatever the word may be) is the denial of context as the giver of meaning. “Retarded” when applied to someone who really is mentally disabled means something different from what it means when applied to someone who has no such excuse.
If I were to start a campaign, it would be about paying attention to context. (Slogan suggestions welcome.)
[...] campaign, however, would come from a slightly different angle. You might recall what I wrote about the Spread the Word campaign (against the word “retarded” as an insult), basically explaining that there is a [...]