More fun with Christian radio
Lest you think I was making up that radio show I mentioned the other day, I happened to catch another one, and at the right point in the broadcast to hear its name. (Yep, I’m just that lucky… or radio is just that bad.) It’s called Adventures in Odyssey. From their Parents Page:
It began as an experiment. In 1986 Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family wanted to produce a drama series for the radio that would appeal to 8-12 year olds – in the hope of countering some of the questionable programming many kids were getting from Saturday morning cartoons. The program would take place in a small town where characters could explore the events, concerns and issues facing today’s families.
Seriously — this is James Dobson’s show. This is Focus on the Family, not some guy in his basement recording some independent program for local distribution. So you’d think they’d be better at making their religious messages actually, you know, religious… but just like the episode I heard before, this one seemed to make a stronger case against Christianity than for it.
You can find a summary of this episode (and others) on their website. Basically, it’s about a boy named Isaac who has a problem with procrastination. Isaac has a history project due today, but it’s not done. There’s a geometry assignment due in a week that he’s supposed to be working on with his friend Lucy, but he hasn’t done his share of the work yet. He also promised to have made some illustrations for the local newspaper’s kids section, and he hasn’t even started. When Isaac later complains of getting a C on his history report for turning it in late, Mr. Whitaker, the sagely ice cream store owner and the star of the show, offers to help him out. He diagnoses Isaac with “chronic procrastinitus” (which Isaac, predictably, is unable to pronounce). While there is no cure, there is a treatment: a special elixir which Mr. Whitaker just happens to have in his office, since he has chronic procrastinitus too. Isaac drinks some, and it gives him the boost he needs to get motivated to do those illustrations he promised! But it was just Mr. Whitaker’s special lemonade recipe, not a magical elixir — and the power to do all that hard work came from within Isaac himself! (Bet you didn’t see that coming.) With newfound energy, Isaac rushes off to work on his geometry assignment.
But wait! Where’s the Christianity? It comes from a narrator right after the story finishes. She quotes Proverbs 10:4 and explains that God wants you to work hard and not be lazy. If you’re having trouble with laziness, just read Proverbs for a little motivation.
If you’re wondering why I listened to the show, other than the fact that there was no good music on any other station, it’s because of this: I was amazed, entranced, almost hypnotized by the possibility that they could really be making the point I thought they were making. And they were. Your hard work and good deeds don’t come from some magical, cure-all (omnipotent?) solution. They come from your decisions and your effort.
It’s not that it’s a bad message — it’s a great one. I just don’t think it jives with what they’re advocating the rest of the time. Focus on the Family says that if your friend is struggling with their marriage, you should talk to them and listen to their problems. But that’s tip #2 — tip #1 is to pray, so that God can give you the wisdom to talk to them and listen to their problems. No, it couldn’t be that you had sympathy or interpersonal skills on your own. It must have been that God gave those abilities to you. There are tons of examples of this sort of message. I guess if you’ve trained your followers not to use critical thinking, it’s not too hard for them to hear this broadcast and still say, “Thanks, God, for helping me understand the message and learn not to be lazy.”
I can’t believe these people don’t deconvert all their listeners by accident. Now, maybe James Dobson plans to do the Mr. Whitaker thing himself and make an announcement in a couple weeks. “Hey, everyone, remember that ‘God’ we told you was helping you through all your hard times and giving you strength and wisdom? Well, that was all a lie, and all that strength and wisdom was within you all along.” Somehow, though, I don’t think we should hold our breath.
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